THE TRIPLE INGREDIENTS FOR BUILDING

Introduction

“Anyone who marries a wise person grows wise but he who marries a fool suffers harm”. The wise couple learns from the mistakes of others but the fool couple learn from their own mistakes. From the primitive to the modern age, every couple who would build a joyful (home) family, not physical house, need these triplet ingredients for building. The Lord gives wisdom and from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding (Proverbs 2:6). “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength ;…( Proverbs 24:3 -5). The wise woman builds her house but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (Proverbs 14:1). Based on the above passages quoted, the triple ingredients for building a Christian home are:

Knowledge

Every marriage partner needs knowledge. Knowledge describes the information and skills one acquires through training, education or experience or by reading books, Christian literatures etc. It is generally believe that knowledge is power. I would say that Knowledge is power when it is properly applied. Specifically, we do acquire or get information by reading the Bible (marriage manual) and listening to people who teach God’s word, particularly on marriage. Through God’s word, we learn how to forgive (Matthew 6:6 -14), how to love and respect (Eph. 5:21 -33), how to be contented (1Timothy 6:6), just to mention but a few. The word of God really reveals principles for building a Christian home. The scripture says, “Through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures” Treasures explain wealth in the form of gold, silver, jewels, among others. Treasures are good things needed in the home. Treasures are things we purchase one-by-one, which later become numerous. An example is the Shunamite woman (a well to do woman) and her husband, who decided and made a room for Elisha. They put in the room a bed and a table, a chair and a lamb for the man of God (2Kings 4:8 -17). No doubt that their room too must have been filled with such treasures. They must have acquired knowledge on things that could be needed in such a room. According to knowledge, it is therefore expedient for husband and wife to trust themselves, handle their finances, pursue single goal, and be responsible and accountable to each other. These and many more will afford them the opportunity to fill their home and life with treasures.

Understanding

I asked a young lady who was trusting God for who to marry years ago, afater a man proposed to her, to tell me three reasons why she was convinced to marry the man. She said, “God told me that I need love, understanding and have faith in order to marry the man”. Understanding is a key concept for making a successful marriage. What is understanding? It describes the ability to understand or have a knowledge why people behave in a particular way and the willingness to forgive them when they do something wrong. The scripture says “through understanding a house is established”. The complex nature of human beings makes it somehow difficult for them to understand themselves. No matter how complex, husband and wife have the sole obligation to study one another and understand each other. The first one and half years of our marriage were so tasking because we were learning how to understand each other. Though there are still a lot to understand about each other but twenty five (25) years of marital life has taught us great lessons and has given us broad understanding about one another. I assumed many things about my wife while she equally did similarly. A times she complained about my attitude in some areas which I equally did about her but in all of those we were both aware that what is needed is understanding. Of recent, a newly wedded couple reported their case to me. The simple truth I discovered in their case is lack of understanding and patience which I made them to know. I hope they will soon overcome it. Regardless of how old one is in marriage understanding one’s partner is very paramount. Husband and wife should use understanding to build by realizing that: - Both of them are not the same. - Gender factor has key role to play in one’s disposition to issues. - Both of them have to graciously accept temperamental devices - Both should learn to comprise - Both should be ready to put the other person first - Both should learn to adjust to each other - Both should pay attention to the mood and feelings of each other - Both should always remember that they were not from the same background. - Both should be willing explore the most irritating attitude positively. Mrs. Abigael Nabal really understood her husband. Through that understanding she prevented her home/family from being destroyed by King David. When Abigael saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground and said don’t pay attention to that wicked man Nabal…(1Samuel 25:23 -25). The fact is, it is not possible to understand your spouse completely, use the little understanding you have about your spouse to establish your home.

Wisdom

The general saying is that wisdom is the application of knowledge. Wisdom is when knowledge is correctly applied. A lot of things are said about wisdom in the Holy Bible. God is willing to give wisdom to everyone who desires it. However, the ultimate condition for getting wisdom from God is to fear Him. The scripture says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise (Psalm 111:10). Any man or woman who finds wisdom is blessed (Prov. 3:13), with the blessing of a well-built family. A wise man and woman build their house on the rock but the fool build his/her house on the sand (Matthew 24:24 -27). What is wisdom? It is commonly defined as the right application of knowledge. Wisdom describes the ability to make sensible decisions and give good advice because of the experience and knowledge that one possesses. Wisdom is highly needed by married couples, even singles who are trusting God for their future homes need wisdom because wisdom will help them in: Making the right decision at the right time. Wisdom was displayed by Joseph and Mary when they ran away from Bethlehem to Egypt for the safety of the newly born king (Matthew 2:13 -18). It was a right decision at the right time. Building solid and lasting relationship, hence, solid home. Bringing up children who are filled with wisdom. Solomon is product of such venture. Balancing every action and reaction. Communicating their ideas, feelings and concern to each other. The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:26 spoke with wisdom. Securing their future and that of their children. I would say that there can be earthly and heavenly wisdom. The two wisdoms, but heavenly kingdom should be desired.

Attributes of heavenly Wisdom

According to James 3:17, attributes of the wisdom that comes from above (God) are: 1. It is pure 2. It is peace-making 3. It is considerate 4. It is submissive 5. It is full of mercy and good deeds 6. It is impartial and sincere

Attributes of Earthly Wisdom

As identified by the book of James 3: 13-16, attributes of earthly wisdom include the following: It harbours bitter envy  It harbours selfish ambition It is boastful It denies the truth

Conclusion

Somebody said “knowledge is acquiring fact, understanding is analysing fact while wisdom uses facts”. As couples acquire fact, analyse fact and use fact, they should always remember that in Christ are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Colossians 2:3 says, “My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so they may have full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge”. Let Jesus be the source of your wisdom as against the earthly wisdom. This reminds me of something I read on a WhatsApp platform recently about two donkeys who engaged on a conversation a day after the triumphant entry of the Lord. It goes thus: First donkey said “people don’t recognize me again like they did yesterday when Jesus rode on me and walked on their cloaks in great honour. Second donkey responded and said “Do you think you were the one people honoured? If you were honoured in any way at all, it was because of Jesus Christ on you. Without Jesus you are nothing”. The lesson is, without Jesus Christ in a person’s life; the life of such a person cannot attract any recognition or honour. If the life of a husband or a wife lacks Jesus Christ, in whom the treasures of knowledge, understanding and wisdom are hidden, the triple ingredients will be lacking. Definitely, it will be difficult for such a spouse to build or co-build and nurture joyful family for God.